my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
last night I used snow as a chaser
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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