All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
