Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
When are your genitals available?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
