wat bout pragnant strippers??
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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