my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
