y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
