hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
