Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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