two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
