thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
