Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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