your parents love me but you hate me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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