I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
