so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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