Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
