I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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