i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
