so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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