After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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