Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
