just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize