whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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