There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
