I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
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Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
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It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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