Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
