i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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