so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
