Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
