today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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