My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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