When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have fence marks all over my body
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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