They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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