his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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