before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize