Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
