Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
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I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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