god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
