Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
