just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i think i have herpe
just one?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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