She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
