the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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