Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize