That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
