I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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