So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
