dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
