I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
