Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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