What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
