i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
