i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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