i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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