Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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