You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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