Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
