Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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