holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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