Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
