you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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