Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
