so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When did angry sex become our thing?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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