The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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