I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.