Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.

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  (850): come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants. http://tfl.nu/d477
  Replies (14) Good night (571) Bad night (3424) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I did the walk of shame to church this morning.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  hooker boots and all?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.

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  (313): I did the walk of shame to church this morning. (734): hooker boots and all? (313): Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway. http://tfl.nu/9ht9
  Replies (14) Good night (7011) Bad night (856)
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  (925): View more from California

  don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement

  (510): View more from California

  big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.

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  (925): don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement (510): big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault. http://tfl.nu/lnx0
  Replies (11) Good night (6383) Bad night (988)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  What will that accomplish?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.

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  (602): We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on. (480): What will that accomplish? (602): It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on. http://tfl.nu/n4ns
  Replies (23) Good night (8006) Bad night (1363)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.

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  (217): You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice. http://tfl.nu/09lg
  Replies (4) Good night (3262) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses

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  (203): Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses http://tfl.nu/2wtf
  Replies (6) Good night (2242) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.

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  (815): Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa. http://tfl.nu/kz18
  Replies (3) Good night (1793) Bad night (454)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(

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  (952): I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :( http://tfl.nu/9wgw
  Replies (3) Good night (1253) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over

  (1+44): View more from

  Wet with either fear or sexual excitement

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think a mixture of both is appropriate

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  (+44): Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over (1+44): Wet with either fear or sexual excitement (+44): I think a mixture of both is appropriate http://tfl.nu/euq8
  Replies (3) Good night (1519) Bad night (397)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.

  (1-315): View more from New York

  How small IS your cock?

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  (315): Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing. (1-315): How small IS your cock? http://tfl.nu/y2pr
  Replies (6) Good night (1426) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock

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  (850): She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock http://tfl.nu/s796
  Replies (8) Good night (679) Bad night (1586)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".

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  (720): when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight". http://tfl.nu/l9jb
  Replies (5) Good night (415) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  How festive

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  (778): 4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee (604): How festive http://tfl.nu/8kx6
  Replies (11) Good night (485) Bad night (1601)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.

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  (502): No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful. http://tfl.nu/s1k5
  Replies (2) Good night (330) Bad night (150)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.

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  (316): Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift. http://tfl.nu/rzzb
  Replies (2) Good night (183) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt

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