I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.