Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?