whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
