too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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